Monday, February 21, 2005
uhm. so yeah. i feel like crap right now.
i was perfectly fine today. i got to hang out with my brutha 3 (whom i haven't seen in three months). we went to san jose and chilled. it was so fun. but then i got back to davis, it was about an hour ago... i feel like crap. i don't know what it is. i used to feel this way when i was little, when i'd have tons of friends over at my house. and then they'd leave and i'd feel a little empty inside, as though i wish that my friends would stay forever so that i don't have to feel so "gone". but it feels like that right now. as if i'm alone and i have been neglected.
of course, this is not to say that i didn't have a fabulous time today, because i certainly did. i haven't left davis for so long that it was so nice to even get in a friggin' car. when you get back here, though, you just wish it weren't so. and this is what has been keeping me in the dumps lately. i am missing something and i need it badly. it's just not the same. i miss it like no other.
talking to brutha 3 today, i definitely figured out where i want to be for graduate school. i know what i want to do, i know what i need, and seriously, that made me hope i can move on that much faster. i'm not bashing college, rest assured. but today made me think a lot.
and now, i realize that i have to write a ten-page paper... which, by the way, cannot be written unless i read another shakespearean play to compare to the one i have already read. that's going to be a killer. i can't deal with that. i love reading but holy crap. most english professors got glasses. gee, i wonder why.
as i type this, i know time is going by and i'm probably not going to be able to finish all of this on time. and i could kick myself for not doing anything these past two days, but what the hell is that going to help? and seriously, i didn't know what i wanted to write about until tonight, at about 12:10am. so think about it. i couldn't have been productive anyway. but i sure wish i had taken some action about it a bit sooner. ten-pages on shakespeare is a lot.
if only i could blab stuff out onto my english paper like i can onto my blog... oh, life would be so simple. and simplicity is beautiful, isn't it?
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